Monday, December 5, 2011

A new me

Ok so here's a little bit of honesty that I haven't really shared with a lot of people...after I had Trent, I went through some sort of depression. I wasn't the crazy kind where I wanted to kill myself or anything, but I just wasn't interested in anything. Sex, cooking, cleaning, friends, family...nothing. I barely even wanted to shower because I just didn't care.

Luckily, my wonderful husband understood, kind of. He didn't really understand what was going on because I still managed to put a smile on for show. I could make it appear that everything was ok on the inside, and sometimes it was.

When my husband lost his job in March of 2009, it just seemed to get worse. When we moved back to San Antonio, I thought things were going to get better, but they didn't. When I got pregnant in 2010, and then lost the baby, we were so stressed out, and my depression was still present, that we barely even talked to each other. He was working nights, so when Trent and I were awake, he was sleeping. This was a very difficult time for us.

Once we moved to North Texas, things started really looking up. We were away from drama and we had a fresh new start. Josh had a new job, I was in school, and everything was just going to get better!

It was a slow start, but things are progressively getting better. The depression is completely gone and I am happy and full of life!

With the birth of Dylan came a flood of creativity and happiness. Considering that I could have died the day that he was born, I am so happy with my life right now. I am very thankful to be sitting here writing this blog and to also have two of the most gorgeous kids sitting next to me.

I don't know what has gotten into me, but after some surfing on the web, I have SO many ideas for things that I want to make, do, and see.

I was lucky to have gone through a very mild depression and survived without the use of any medication. I just tried to stay positive, and I kept telling myself that things were going to get better. After years of telling myself that, I think it has finally paid off. I feel so giddy now because of all the fun things that I have planned for the coming year.

In January, my hubby and I are going to file bankruptcy (sounds horrible, but it will pay off). We are doing this so that we can buy a house and get a new car for our family. Our dream is to have 3 or 4 acres of land, a large mobile home, and a fenced yard with dogs and kids running around. I want a swimming pool and a trampoline for my boys. I also want to get them a four wheeler, and bikes and all the things that boys are supposed to have growing up.

In February, I am throwing Trent a huge party for his third birthday. He is going to be a superhero! I am so excited for this party that it cannot get here fast enough! I am very thankful for my parents who are helping me put this huge party together. BTW, if you need a cake made for any occasion, my step-mom makes beautiful  cakes...she also take amazing pictures!

March, April, and May are going to be dedicated to loosing weight and preparing to train for a marathon.

June is my birthday month and I plan on celebrating my 25th birthday in the one place that I can relax completely...the Port Aransas beach. I cannot wait for June...I miss the beach so much! Even the sand, which I never really cared for!

July, August, and September are going to be dedicated to training for the marathon in November. I am planning on running in the Rock and Roll marathon in San Antonio.

October my baby boy turns 1. I will be throwing another huge party for him! Thanks to I already have ideas for his is going to be super fun! Oh and more training for the marathon...

November is marathon month! Can't wait to show off my new body in spandex and a sports bra!

December will be great. The first Christmas that both of my boys will participate in! Dylan will be there this year, but of course he will probably be sleeping through the entire day...

So thats what I have planned for next year. Tons of fun and happiness with my family! Somewhere in there, Josh and I are going to take the boys on our first family vacay...wonder where were gonna go?

I am also planning on crafting and cooking tons of new prepared for blogs of things I am making!

I pray that my readers also have an excellent new year and may it be blessed with tons of happiness and love!!

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